I knew from the start to be with you is against my commitment as the servant of God.
I am commited and I am like being chased by my own sin every night every day when I am with you.
Yesterday God has spoken so loud to me. I made a promised and I must do it.

Yah I am sad. I am feel so uncomfortable with my own decision. I can smile in front of you but my heart is crying. I cried to see smoking, to lose a best friends, and to lose someone I love so much.

Just now I fall asleep for awhile, I am dreaming about you. I dreamt you beg me to be with you. But when I woke up, I know everything is already over between us. My head so pain, my stomach is uneasy. But all I want now is to say sorry and hopefully you can understand me. I wanted to make it clear to you. I love you but I am commited to my promise. I am sorry.